The only thing about walking to towards the light is that it casts a shadow behind you, which follows you on your journey. My shadow holds the grief of losing my brother. I can’t turn around to face my grief as I am worried the darkness will overcome me and I will be lost. So I let it out piece by piece, by catching a glimpse of it in reflections and glancing over my shoulder, looking back over where I have been. I think about the time I spent with him, the family he left behind and what he achieved in his life.
It is painful to talk about, each little release takes a bit of the pain away, but I miss the fact that I won’t be able to create any new memories of him, take any new photographs of him, or have any more fun with him. The grief from his loss feeds my depression, so after I have let a bit of the pain out, I turn back to the light and continue my journey towards it, with my shadow behind me.
Sarah
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