Tuesday 9 August 2011

Someone to lean on

When I was at my worst several of my friends visited me every other day, not for along, just short visits, enough time for a coffee and a quick chat.  This was frequently their lunch break they were giving up to come and see me and they would come and they would bring me news of what was going on in the real world, a world I simply couldn't face at the time.  I really looked forward to these visits, they really brightened my day.

They also gave me the chance to talk about how I was feeling, if I wanted to, in place where I felt safe.  They weren't trained counsellors, and they didn't really offer me too much in the way of advice, but they listened to what I was saying and that's what I really needed.

A friend of mine is now going through a similar thing and I am able to return the favour.  We meet up when ever we can and I regularly chat with her online, it's not the same as face to face as I can't read her body language, but I am there and do listen.  I hope she gets as much from it as I did.  If she lived closer I would visit more often.

If you have a friend who is suffering from depression, they need time to rest, time to process the issues which made them ill and someone to talk to, not for advice but so they can rationalise their thoughts and start to rebuild.  There is still a real stigma attached to mental illness, people feel uncomfortable, don't know what to say or do and because they don't know how to help, they stay away.

Take it from someone who has been on the other side, you don't have to say or do anything different than you would normally, just listen when they want to talk.

MsG

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